


Cry for Help

by LovelyCode



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abusive Parents, Anxiety, Bad Parenting, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Social Anxiety, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:13:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28573575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyCode/pseuds/LovelyCode
Summary: // Mentions of anxiety and possible hint of suicide?A day in the life of someone who's going through a lot.This is their cry for help.





	Cry for Help

**Author's Note:**

> Please read to the very end. Please note that this can be triggering.
> 
> Please read the end note as well.

Day by day, time passed by quickly. Shockingly fast that it's hard to keep track of.

'What day is it..? I should check the calendar.' By glancing at the date on their phone, he noticed it was Wednesday.

"____!"

The adult flinched at the volume coming downstairs, it was their mother calling him for something again.

They made their way downstairs, "Yeah..?"

"Take out the trash."

The mother was lounging on the couch, she could easily take the trash out herself but instead she had called for him to do it.

"Okay…"

He had a bit of trouble lifting the trash bag out of the bin, they weren't very strong to begin with and his mother's constant nagging about him not being able to do anything comes to mind.

'I hate living here.'

After a while, he was able to take out the trash. Once he walked back inside, his mother talked to him again.

"You haven't taken a shower, did you? Why can't you do anything good for once. You know, you don't work too and my friends feel bad for me. You really can't do anything."

The person blankly stared at his mother before going back upstairs to his computer. He heard those words so many times, it hurts but he knows by now to just feel nothing.

They were words, words from someone who obviously doesn't love and care for them despite saying she does.

'You know I have anxiety and you expect me to work? I don't shower because it hurts, my body is in so much pain from just having water on my skin.'

Sadly, he had eczema and it had gotten bad that now having showers caused pain, so much that sometimes, he wanted to scream but he was always silent.

It was easier to just not talk, especially talking back would just get them disowned again.

Even though they were of the age to move out, they were nearly 20 now, they haven't.

He does have a job, but it was just forced on him by his own mother and he doesn't actually go to work. He gets paid but every fortnight, that week's wage is taken.

He only gets half his actual money every month, which isn't much since has to buy food for himself since his mother never bothered to buy groceries and he has a horrible fear of leaving the house.

Anxiety is truly a bitch. Perhaps, it was worse than normal social anxiety but the person couldn't get themself checked to find out.

His parents would know and his situation would just get worse.

Oh.

Their name is Asta.

"I really hate this. I hate my life." Asta had mumbled this to himself as they placed their headphones back on and quickly checked their phone.

// // //

No one hears me. No matter how much I scream, no matter how much hints I drop.

I wish I can be saved. I can't do this anymore.

I'm sorry for dropping this on people who may have believed this was a normal story.

It isn't.

It's a cry for help.

I beg, please. My situation isn't as horrible as what's going on in the world but I really can't do this anymore.

My name is Asta, it is a name I've chosen for myself but it might as well be my real name.

I'm known as AstaIsNotHere on Twitter, CodeAstaroth on Twitch and • Astaroth • on YouTube.

My situation is that I'm living with my emotionally abusive mother who doesn't look at me as a person, multiple times, it's hinted that she sees me as a money machine and an outlet for her own stress.

She doesn't physically hurt me but in the past has threaten to.

I don't have anywhere to go, my father is similar to my mother but he's becoming a better father but I do not trust him at all.

He has threaten to hit me with a stick in the past, has threaten to send me back to his home country, Thailand.

Yes, I am Asian and this type of parenting is very common in Asian households but we do not live in Asia.

I am absolutely scared of my mother, I fear her and had multiple panic attacks while she was near.

My parents know I have anxiety but completely disregard it and didn't try to educate themselves.

I want to move out but I don't have the money or the job to maintain rent and bills once I do have enough.

I don't have a gofundme because I honestly don't think even with that money, I'll be able to leave. I can set one up if I really need to.

I don't like to ask for help and I definitely don't like to ask for support this way. But, if you can.

Please support me on Twitch, I play games, various games such as Minecraft, Roblox, also that weird KFC dating sim.

You don't have to donate, I like talking to people and it helps me mentally and emotionally by talking.

If you can donate, it would help me greatly. I do have a job as said within the story but I only get around $300 a week and half my salary is taken for "rent".

Please, I'm begging people to see this. I'm suffering so much and I've never called out for help this way.

Even if you can't help, please just share this story around.

I also don't mean to guilt anyone into doing anything, I'm just desperate to get out of this place that's meant to be "home".

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to talk about this for a very long time but I never knew how to.
> 
> I've always loved writing so I put it into writing instead. This is only a glimpse of how things are, I've been through this type of abuse for years.
> 
> I have seen a therapist but they had only focused on my social anxiety, not like I had the chance to tell them what my parents do to me.
> 
> To be more clear, the person in the story is me. I am 19 turning 20 in March, the only other way for me to be able to have steady money is from Centrelink but I have to be 21 to not need parents' income details and even if I got it before I was 21, I wouldn't be able to get paid because my parents make too much.
> 
> Please don't tell me to just get a job or save the money I get. I physically can't go outside without having a panic attack and I desperately need this money to be able to eat on most days.
> 
> I have gone days only on junk food before.
> 
> Please help me if you can, share this story around. I know there's way worse things than what's happening with me but I really need to get out of here, I can't keep living with my abuser anymore.
> 
> ...
> 
> Twitter: AstaIsNotHere  
> Twitch: CodeAstaroth  
> Instagram: code_astaroth


End file.
